healing

Spring Beckons Humility

restoreroflostvoices

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1: 9 NASB

Spring summons us to work, rest, and play; but it also beckons humility. I’d searched for glimpses of green growth stretching forth from the mulch, but I’d missed them. I had to kneel. My grandsons joined me on the ground, and we marveled at the miniature daffodils that had burst through. Spring offers us an opportunity to bow, to dig in the dirt, weed, and plant— clear cluttered thoughts and re-frame false beliefs with Truth. We must be rid of false gods and idols.

Spring beckons us to bow, to confess and repent from sinful patterns of relating to God and others. Sin separates us from God and causes division amongst believers. However, confession and repentance restore our relationship with God and others. Repentance means to turn from our iniquity and return to God. We admit our wrongdoing and choose holiness; and He forgives. Besides, He heals what we bring into the light.

God also offers us a new way to relate to ourselves. When we perceive ourselves as beloved children of God, we’re equipped to choose life over self-injury, love and self-care over hate. Likewise, our negative self-talk is silenced. We learn to respect our hurt and limitations; and we cling to Truth. We accept compliments and praise, rather than flick them away like a pesky crumb.  And we take notice of others and offer the same.

Spring beckons Humility. Unity is possible. Deliverance and redemption. Freedom and peace. Believe! In repentance and rest we will be saved. Strength comes to the soul who trusts the Lord. He makes a way in the quiet; therefore, dig deep, confess sin and re-frame false beliefs. Recognize the lies and declare Truth:

Lie – I am unloved- Truth – I am loved! God is love. 1 John 4:8; Though the mountains be shaken and hills be removed, my unfailing love for you will not be shaken . . . Isaiah 54: 10
Lie– I’m alone- Truth– I have a Helper, Keeper, Protector who never tires/sleeps. Psalm 121
Lie-I’m invisible, ugly- Truth- I’m seen and known; fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139
Lie-I’m forgotten, abandoned- Truth– Never will I leave you or forsake you. Hebrews 13:5
Lie– I’m worthless, defenseless- Truth– A Mighty Warrior sings over me! Zephaniah 3:17
Lie– I’m ruined/marred- Truth– I’m chosen! A child of the King. Royalty. I Peter 2: 9

Lord, the enemy of our soul daily feeds us with lies.
May your Truth help us to stand unashamed.

In Him alone,

Lily Mae

For thus the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, has said, “In repentance and rest you will be saved, in quietness and trust is your strength. Isaiah 30:15 NASB

Restoration’s Promise

restoreroflostvoices

He restores my Soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. 

Psalm 23:3 NASB

Seven months ago, I joined a study called Healing Journey. It was written by Cyndy Sherwood and run through Family Life Network. A mentor who’d taken the class advised me to reduce my schedule and responsibilities. The teacher challenged: “Be greedy for your healing!”

A fragile lily pressed through winter’s hard questions, frozen landscape, and rote prayers. Summer daises and dandelions entwined with new loss and hurt, celebrations and remembrances. My soul wept dry and then stone-cold. Healing required rest—a season to mourn, fast, and pray; and so, I stepped away from social media. And Jesus led me forward! 

No matter our brokenness, it’s important to identify the loss we’ve endured and our emotions that followed, ashen despair, creep of green sludge, and shame’s flood that forced us to hide, or else, erupt with fury. Our outlook may be clouded; but our feelings don’t lie. They just are! 

Our feelings are windows to our soul. They help us define and understand what has been hurt. Also, they reveal our humanity. Some are struck by numbness for decades, detached and hardened; and that is just the tip of the iceberg. But Jesus lives. So, our cold defense must fall. 

The lies are found in our beliefs and how we live. What we believe about God, His character and Word, and our relationship with Him and others must be re-framed with Truth. We are seen, known, and loved.

When I didn’t know how to begin again, God bridged the gap. A boy prayed for joy over his pancakes. It was a wise word for one so small. Then again, we’re told to come to God as a child. 

Later, my grandson dragged his feet around our pond with his walking stick and kicked the dry, dusty path without thought. I understood. My heart also hurt; and I was tired and listless. Meanwhile, his younger brother strayed into the high grass countless times and dared us to catch him with his mumbled gabs and giggles. They climbed the apple trees and swung from the low branches. Our routine was a chore until we began to walk the pond and collect nature’s treasure, the first maroon maple of Fall, an acorn head and hat, a Queen Anne’s doily, and a shiny, smooth rock. However, his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. His oldest brother was now in kindergarten. 

We’d both been thrown into a “sea of want.” The waves of the missing—we may miss a loved one who passed away or the brother who has left us. Or else, we miss the mark or golden opportunity. Sometimes, we simply miss the way we were, how we ran, worked, and feasted. Nevertheless, God is never in a hurry. He can heal our heart and hurts. 

Jesus was on His way to Jairus’ house to heal his twelve-year-old daughter when He paused to give heed to a frantic woman who chased Him down for one touch of His hem. Jesus noticed. Jesus cared. His power was accessible; and it’s at our fingertips. 

Jesus is never missing in our “missing.”  

My grandson and I donned gloves and weeded the flower garden side-by-side; and his brother kept us cool. Although, the roses and lavender were thirsty; he preferred to tease and spritz us. We turned a corner with joy and laughter; and restoration was fashioned in the family promise. 

God unites families,

Lily Mae

Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh; is anything too difficult for me? 

Jeremiah 32:27 NASB

“Let it Rain!”

restoreroflostvoices

  


     As for you also, because of the blood of My covenant with you, I have set your prisoners free from the waterless pit. Return to the stronghold, O prisoners who have the hope; this very day I am declaring that I will restore double to you . . . And I will make you like a warrior’s sword. Then the Lord will appear over them, and His arrow will go forth like lightning. Zechariah 9: 11, 12 NASB


Tyre was a city Island. She’d built a fortress around herself and thought she was invincible. Separated from the mainland, she’d learned to be self-sufficient, defensive, wealthy, and wise. She’d built walls over 150 feet high in some places. God had blessed her with good, but her gold piled up as dust and silver as mire in the streets. Riches to rubble—she was stuck and frittered her days away; and so, she was caught off guard. The enemy climbed over her dump. 
     Zechariah prophesied against the nations. God would contend with His malicious enemies. He camped around His people and was their tent peg. Tools and treasures hung from the center. He was a strong defense. Vigilant and ready. The plans and pride of the Philistines were cut off. They wouldn’t oppress His people again.
     Behold! Our King came humble, mounted on a donkey. Justice and salvation gifted by Him. He was crucified for sinners, prisoners of the waterless pit. Bondage. Despair and desperation. Hopelessness. He will return. The bow of war will be broken and peace will be had. 
     God calls us to return to the stronghold. Return and I will restore double to you. In Hebrew, the word used for return and restore is one and the same. Return: 

Come home. Transition. Recall. Recover. Refresh. Retrieve. Withdraw. Take back! Begin again, but not necessarily at the start. Call to mind, break, build, circumcise, retreat, dig, lodge, lie down, eat, feed, make, send, remember, rejoice, carry back, cease, consider, deliver, deny, drawback, fetch, gather, give, pull in, come again, rescue, reverse, set again, slide back, turn back. . . go home! 

There is much “returning and restoring” that takes place in our healing journey. God sees our struggles, and He believes in us. He isn’t put off by our rubble, the sin, failures, complacency, pride, hurt, anger, and weaknesses. Return and He will restore double to you. Mighty in His ways, He will make you like a warrior’s sword. Your mouth will be like a powerful tool for His glory. And He will defend you! 
     Don’t waste your story, or hoard your “silver and gold!” 
     God told His people to seek His favor and ask for rain. Blessings! He is with us and for us. We can hang our hope on His steadfast love. He whistles, gathers, and redeems. Beauty blooms. Transformation takes place. Our homes are rebuilt, and our families are supported and protected. And so, I’d written down a simple prayer as I finished this devotion, “Lord, let it rain!” 
     Later that morning, as I circled our pond with my grandsons, the oldest eye-balled the dark clouds that threatened and declared with innocence, “Mima, when it rains, it’s gonna snow!” More than once, when I’d asked him what he wanted to do this summer, he’d replied with mischief, “Go sledding or build a snowman.” His wonder and eager expectation were a timely gift. Blessings set upon blessings. Winter was on the horizon, but there is joy! 

So, let it rain!

Lily Mae

Three Days

restoreroflostvoices

 

AB307BEB-B15B-4684-B3E1-0CB5FA733FEC

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John 8:36 ESV

     Jesus was crucified and buried in a tomb three days. However, it couldn’t keep Him bound. Light pushed through the dark. Linen wrappings were left undisturbed. Hope is alive.

Easter remembrances had passed, but as I studied my passages for the day, I circled back. Three days.

Saul had once persecuted Christians, the believers and followers of Jesus. He’d breathed threats against them and hunted them down. But on a road to Damascus, God got his attention. Three days Saul was blind and couldn’t eat or drink. But he hears. The scales fall from his eyes. He sees. While on a road called “Straight,” Saul is saved, and he begins to preach the gospel. Radical transformation occurred. (Acts 9: 1-25)

The sons of Israel were desperate as they searched for water three days. (Exodus 15:22)

God directed Joshua and Israel to camp three days before they crossed the Jordon River. Wait. Rest. Move. Then God heaped back the waters and made a way to pass through—to go beyond the river. Their story didn’t end at the water’s edge. The promised Land was on the other side. God wanted them to go in and possess the land. (Joshua 3,4)

Rahab, a harlot, hung a scarlet cord in her window and sent God’s messengers into the hill country to hide. She clung to hope for three days. Rahab and her family were saved when the walls of Jericho crumbled; and, she became part of Jesus’ lineage. (Joshua 3, 4)

Three days in a tomb. Resurrection. Three days blinded. Hearing is fine-tuned. Sight restored. Straight road. Salvation understood. Three days thirsty. Revival. Three days a cord secured hope. Rescue and redemption. Messengers hid. Walls crumbled. Generations were saved. Three days.

What keeps you bound?

Who is your Hope?

Where is God calling you to step forward?

Three days. I was challenged to fast from the activities that disturb and distract me. I let go. Near the end of the third day, as I circled our pond, the ruckus of two angry ospreys chasing a bald eagle, caught my attention. The eagle had something in its mouth, but it dropped midway over the water. Then the eagle circled and swooped down over the deep to retrieve his dinner. Although, I’m not sure he was successful.

No matter. The powerful vision left me awestruck. I had turned. Rested. Listened. Waited.
Freedom’s flight. Three days had made a difference. God’s resurrection power is for us!

     Open your heart to what God wants you to see and hear. Obey His voice. Radical change is possible.

Be blessed,

Lily Mae

Side note:
The following day I woke in the wee hours of the night, and I couldn’t go back to sleep. Coffee won. The hazy, gray globe rose as I clicked away on my computer, and I recorded my thoughts of the previous day. Then I happened to glance outside at my sheltering willow. Another eagle sat ready to pounce on its prey. For another thirty minutes I was captivated.

 

D737B8C6-C931-4D00-AFBD-0DE45AE13936

 

The Dread of Winter

restoreroflostvoices

C905BC9A-AD3D-4C29-8A84-DBD7FD180587

Jesus said, “Remain in me, and I will remain in you.” John 15:4 (NIV)

The weeks of rain had washed away my hope for autumn foliage. Hues of brick red, burnt orange, and cheerful yellow were but a tease. Even our small garden was unproductive, the apples had dried out and the pumpkins had rotted early. I recalled the brilliant colors of other years. They were bittersweet.

The wet, gray season seemed to reflect my physical and emotional and spiritual well-being. I didn’t look forward to the bitter cold and the slick conditions that came with it. I could hardly walk as it is. But God had led me on a journey to trust His lead and purpose.

As I flipped through pages of old journal entries, and considered how God had spoken to me in the past, I came upon the following prayer I’d written several years ago:

Lord, help me to live close to the floor, on my knees. Help me to seek you above all others. Loosen our chains of bondage, break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron. You free us. You heal us with your Word. You have rescued us from the grave!

Through my tears I grinned, then I wrote in today’s journal, “Lord, I didn’t mean literally!”

If you could see my view of late, it is pretty near the floor more often than naught. On my best days, it’s because I’m “camping” in a makeshift tent and “mowing” fields with my grandchildren. On my worst days, I’m trying to dust and clean and tidy up as I scoot around our home on the floor. My knees aren’t healing as fast as I’d like, but I can smile.

Sometimes, in order to heal and stand in God’s strength and confidence, we must first bend low and behold the perspective of the weak and broken one. I accept my low seat. For I know God is with me.

Lord, when we dread the winter, our days lack color, and our feet are unsteady and the path seems unclear, remind us of your faithfulness. Help us to fix our gaze upon your beauty, and to be mindful of the the trees where we find shade. Be our garden of rest. And let your calm surround and settle our troubled thoughts.

Thank you, Jesus, for your storehouse of provision, protection, and sustenance,

Lily Mae

But transgressors and sinners will be crushed together, and those who forsake the Lord will come to an end. Surely you will be ashamed of the oaks which you have desired, and you will be embarrassed at the gardens which you have chosen. For you will be like an oak whose leaf fades away or as a garden that has no water. Isaiah 1: 28-30 (NASB)

God’s Light Breaks Through

restoreroflostvoices

 

If the Lord had not been my help,
My soul would soon have dwelt in the abode of silence.
Psalm 94: 17 (NASB)

The cattails sway with the breeze, the pines lament, and the dock groans with resistance. On my weakest of days, God has been present, attentive, and protective. His light pierces my dark thoughts and steadies my steps. God sings over me with songs of deliverance. The battle is His-not mine.

The locust trees share their sweet aroma as their fingertips dance with ease and grace. God is the Keeper of my heart and soul. He has hedged me in with thorns and preserved my life. And so, I wait in silence and I lean into His love. Rest. Revive. Re-frame.

I walk slowly and ground my failures, shortcomings, and waywardness in God’s open fields. He is the giver of good gifts, the creator of beauty and the restorer of lost voices. He is my calm. Walls begin to crumble and defenses fall as I consider His love and mercy.

And I confess. Repent. Turn. Remember.

The baby doll was battered-ugly from the pull and play of small hands; hair was missing, one eye rolled backward, and her legs were twisted. However, I couldn’t part with her. So, I’d kept her in a cedar chest for decades.

One day, I unpacked the doll on a whim and placed her in my childhood cradle. She was forgotten until a sleepy voice called me to the room, and I cupped the broken pieces of her knee. With eyes downcast, the child mumbled a sweet apology and my heart stirred. I loved him more than the doll. And I told him so.

Forgiveness is easy when our love for another is tender. It can be a one-time decision. But when the infraction is great and the wound scabs and re-opens, forgiveness is hard. Each day, we may wrestle to show mercy. We cannot do it without God.

When I place the baby doll back in the cradle, I take note of the pint-size pillow and the green and purple blanket. My favorite cousin and I’d had coat dresses made from the same fabric. And I’d forgotten. I haven’t seen her for more than twenty years.

God sees injustice. He hears the rumble in the distance. He knows the thoughts of man.

God calls us to forgiveness and fellowship, to gather around a table and join hands.  When I don’t know how and where to begin, I consider Jesus’ Way, His walk and ministry. He broke bread with the crowds and leaned on His disciples-the close-knit circle.

Lord, help us to love. Give us the desire to forgive- and if necessary, the desire for the desire for the desire to forgive. Show us where we need to trust and step into fellowship. And we will lift our praises and our songs to you.

Blessings,

Lily Mae

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Grace in the Grit and Gravel

restoreroflostvoices

Grit

For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace.

John 1:16 (NASB)

God is gracious. For the past month or so when I return home, royal wonders greet me, and I can’t help but smile. I didn’t plant these beauties in the grit and gravel, and I’ve done nothing to sustain them. Nevertheless, they continue to thrive.

God is good. He gives me gifts when I don’t deserve them. I’ve been uptight and miserable for months. God brought me through a season of rest four years ago when I had a runner’s mishap, and I didn’t cope well. My injury this summer required surgery. At first, I welcomed the break from the mundane miles, but I had hopes of a speedy recovery. My countenance fell when I didn’t bounce back.

God is loyal. He stayed by my side when I began to unravel. I admit my response wasn’t pretty. I clenched my jaw to retain my thoughts, and then I spewed a few unkind words to several, and my tears smeared black as I raised a fist in frustration and questioned God’s way. I am thankful He endures.

It’s been more than a month since the surgery, and I can’t meander around our property without pain. My left leg has compensated for so long, that both knees are weak and spent. And so, I wrap both legs for support when I watch my grandsons, and I do my best to keep up with them.

One Friday morning, the oldest was tired and ornery, and he had tested my wit, creativity, and stamina. Unexpectedly, he asked to be rocked, and the youngest soon crawled over and fussed to be picked up. My heart melted with love, grace, and compassion as I also tucked him beside my hip and we sang songs. And this is what God has done for His obstinate grown child.

When I broke down the following day, and I had a fit of my own, God reminded me to lean into His love. Come and rest. Abide. I was mortified by my attitude and behavior, and I recalled that others suffer far worse things; I begged for forgiveness. And God didn’t shame or forsake me in my sin. Instead, He gave me grace in the grit and gravel.

Whatever you are facing this day, God’s mercy surrounds you. Trust in His goodness.

 

Lily Mae

 

 

 

Dreary Days

restoreroflostvoices1 Comment

drenching

The Lord builds up Jerusalem;
He gathers the outcasts of Israel. 
He heals the brokenhearted
And binds up their wounds.  Psalm 147:2,3 (NASB)

I love dreary days…the cold, damp, and draining,
tear-drenched fall to earth…
adding to the already dying…it becomes one.
I can’t avoid the gloomy so I might as well embrace it.
I slow down and give myself
permission to feel…
to dig deep…and surrender to my pain….to reflect on loss-
the taking… losing….leaving…. walking away…
and death of dreams.
I pause to consider the hurt and wander listlessly in pajamas…
until… I choose to get moving.
And then I begin to scrub… anything and everything…
the cleansing, frenzied rush to busy my hands…
until I sit weeping on the bathroom floor.

The pain is still there…I remember…
and can’t work my rag hard enough to forget!
I push the mother’s tear-filled eyes from my mind…
beat the young man’s words from my thought’s…
and hide my own “Christmas” memories under piles of Ajax.
I  scrub until my hands are raw.
The bleach burns my nostrils and my nose runs ugly…
and it gives me all the more reason to just let it out.
I empty pain on tiles of beige, brown, and copper…
the tears and shower stream blending together…flowing as one….
the washing, purifying, and raw is necessary!
Dreary days bring healing rain…

The drenching fall is inescapable…and I embrace my pain.
It cleanses and heals from the inside…out…
as I drink in my sorrow and sing
at the top of my lungs until I mean it…
“All is well with my soul”….

I bow low in the shower stall,
my manger of filth,
with my impure thoughts and words…
my soul ache and longings.
And I ask myself,
“Am I willing to accept what the Lord wants?”
Would I respond like Mary, the young mother of Jesus?
“I am the Lord’s servant.”
“May it be to me as you have said.” (Luke 1:38)
I work harder to rid myself of shame and guilt.
I’m so unworthy, desperate, and afraid…
lonely, ungrateful, and unfulfilled…
longing for more of Him who searches and finds.
The one who rescues and saves…
gathers and builds the outcasts of  homes…churches…and cities!
I want more of Jesus…
the one who heals the brokenhearted
and binds their wounds.
The God of the universe…
who cares about details and
counts the stars, giving each a name.
I ponder…He knows my name.
Intimacy is here …waiting…in this place.
He favors me and bends down to take
hold of my hand.
In this uncertain and unlikely stall,
God steadies me…
He surrounds and protects,
strengthening the walls and gates of my home.
He scatters the frost like ashes with a flick of His wrist.
With precision, purity, and pattern…unraveling beauty…
He scatters…
each ice fragment landing where He destined design and perfection.
It is no whim of His…
Nothing is impossible for Him…Emanuel with us!

So I follow His example.
Yes, again…I turn…
and I cease the striving and choose another way.
In this moment, I choose joy…
I begin the cutting, pasting, and pressing,
creating beauty
from what is worn and torn…used and broken…
new and perfected…the colorful, glitzy, subdued and bland…
painting… the blending of colors and pieces coming together
to tell a story…one that flows from the heart…
unseen until now.

My God satisfies and fills me with His goodness!
He makes peace at my borders…
hemming me in on all sides…safe….
I paint to the edges…pink, taupe, coral…
coming together and mixing…healing with each stroke.
And purple peeks through reminding me of who I am…
Royalty… a Daughter of the King!
Hope buried deep begins to rise and break free
from the depths of my despair.
That which has been bound inside …locked tight… breaks free…

I begin to sing with abandon,
faint whispers at first and growing in strength…
my heart spilled out.
My Savior is FOR ME…
His love will be victorious! Take courage…

Like Mary, we are favored,
and may find ourselves in our own dirty, smelly, and uncomfortable stall…
bearing a stigma.
Will we accept our purpose and go where He calls?
We embrace the drenching rain and feel our pain!
God is with us in the waiting…
and will reframe our  brokenness with beauty
as we turn towards Him and sing.
Don’t be afraid to choose the joy!

Lily Mae

A Changed Perspective…

restoreroflostvoices

IMG_0355

…we cannot stop speaking about what we have seen and heard.
 Acts 4: 20 (NASB)

The lame man who had sat at the Beautiful Gate of the temple every day had been healed.  And everyone was talking about it.  They made note that he was the one who had sat begging outside the city.  He had been crippled since birth, more than forty years.  A miracle had happened and everyone was amazed, especially the one who had lived low to the ground!  He stood tall and was off running…he had a story to tell!

Even Peter and John couldn’t stop talking about it.  They were arrested and warned not to speak or teach any further in the name of Jesus.  The Chief Corner stone who many rejected and  crucified was their Savior, and they were told to be silent.

He is the STONE WHICH WAS REJECTED by you, THE BUILDERS, but WHICH BECAME THE CHIEF CORNER stone.   And there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men by which we must be saved.  Acts 4:11, 12 (NASB)

There are miracles happening in our lives every day!  Are we too busy to recognize them?  Do we get excited about the small God-wink moments? Miracle blessings come wrapped in different packages; an unexpected visit, a leisurely lunch with a friend, a written quote tucked in our hurting hands, and sloppy kisses from a child.  Are we aware of God’s healing presence in our life?  Do we recognize His leading and opening of doors?  He is a mystery worker; the unexplainable, unbelievable, shaker and mover of mountains… and our days.  He does a great work in us and through us.  He heals our wounds, and offers a new perspective, eternal security.  Jesus, there is power in His name!

 The lame man was healed in the name of Jesus and his perspective changed as he discovered beauty on his horizon. And he didn’t stop talking about it! God offers us the same restoration and deserves our heartfelt praise.  We should go forth and tell others of His amazing deeds.  The telling of our stories matter.

Pray for boldness to speak His great word and tell others of His mighty deeds!

Blessings,

Lily Mae