restorer of lost voices

Let your eyes look directly ahead
And let your gaze be fixed straight in front of you.
Watch the path of your feet
And all your ways will be established.
Proverbs 4:25,26 (NASB)

I used to climb the mile-long hill with eager expectation as I searched for glimpses of God’s ordinary blooms or awe-inspiring frozen handiwork, and I played mind games that helped me reach the top. When I trained for marathons, I chose landmarks to run to and crested the knolls with walk breaks. There were times I skipped the respite, and I pushed through my pain to the next fence post, stoic tree, or apple-red barn. And I soon raced down my gravel driveway. I was now ready for the other demands of my day.

However, I’d entered a new season. I’d risen early for physical therapy, and I hoped to eventually walk without discomfort. The days when my inner strength matched my long, strenuous runs seemed to be over. Pain is wearisome to the body and mind and soul.

I’d laughed when the nurse had recently explained to the doctor that I was a “hot mess” and in need of a miracle. She wasn’t far from the truth. It seemed as if my knobby knees were shattered. I’d become used to being left behind by family and friends when I stood and couldn’t move till I stretched my stiff joints. I also often lagged behind as we crossed a street and shopped. Although, slow and steady had become my norm, I refused to let it break my spirit. I’d told myself that there is always someone who hurts more than me. Therefore, “Look outward!”

God also calls me to look ahead- to fix my gaze on the highway straight in front of me. Don’t look back and don’t turn to the left or to the right. God sees around the next bend.  He will provide what I need. So, I will persevere through the mental and physical angst.

At the start of a new year, I’m resolute to keep my eyes fixed on the author and keeper of my faith. Day and night I will meditate on God’s Word and follow His Way and counsel.  The rear view mirror is tipped and I anticipate the things yet to come. He is not finished with me. From leg lifts to knee bends to side stretches and such, He begins to heal my inner core. And seeds of trust are planted by the lonesome roadside. God’s love is for me.

When Jesus called Matthew to be His disciple, he left his current vocation as a tax collector,  and he rose to the task. He gathered the sinners and outcasts and prepared a fancy feast. Then he began to humbly serve at his reception. And Jesus dined with them.

Intimacy is possible when we lean in around the table.

The irony is not lost as I consider the hands that massage my injured legs and knees. Touch. Eye contact. Bands tightened and loosened and re-positioned. I am vulnerable. Uncomfortable. Again. But it is necessary. Healing requires change and it can’t be rushed.

What hill of loss, failure, or suffering must you climb? Leave the former things behind. Look ahead. Rise to the task. Begin to serve. Trust again. And all your ways will be established. Your conversations and gatherings and work will have eternal purpose.

Let’s face the year with an open heart and feet ready to step into the unknown.

Look ahead!

Lily Mae

After that He went out and noticed a tax collector named Levi sitting in the tax booth, and He said to him, “Follow me.” And he left everything behind, and got up and began to follow Him. Luke 5: 27, 28 (NASB)